Posted on: 11, Sep 2019
Having a kink isn’t a sign of any problems with your sexuality, and it’s perfectly healthy in itself. But it can lead to you feeling ashamed and embarrassed because of the stigma connected with fetishes in our society. Fortunately, this idea is slowly beginning to change. Thanks to the internet, people can easily access more information, and they realise that maybe the things that used to make them weird are not really that uncommon after all.
If your fantasies make you feel bad about yourself, it’s probably not because you think about something that is bad for you. It’s much more likely that it’s caused by the view people around you have on such issues. Even in our day and age, sex is still considered to be a taboo. Everything that goes beyond what’s “normal” and “acceptable” is denoted as harmful and deviant. But you shouldn’t let others rule your life, nor decide what you can or cannot do. Your personal preferences are not for others to judge, and if they don’t affect your daily life negatively, there’s no reason for you to change.
There’s absolutely no reason why someone’s opinion should dictate you how to live your life. Whether you choose to keep your kinks to yourself or share them with others is entirely up to you. But whatever you decide to go with, just remember that you don’t need anyone to approve your choices. As long as you and your partner (or partners, if that’s your thing) are happy with your arrangements, that’s all that matters. But if you’d like to meet more like-minded people, it won’t be as difficult as you may think. You’d be surprised to know how many various fetishes there are, especially if we’re talking about some of the more common ones, like a foot fetish in London or any other bigger city you wouldn’t have any problem finding someone who’s into the same things as you.
Many people don’t really like talking about the things they enjoy. At least not when it’s sex-related. That’s why it’s not very difficult to come to the conclusion that fetishes are not very common. More often than not, we assume that such issues don’t affect others, simply because we don’t hear about it. And this attitude makes it very easy to start feeling alienated and ashamed because of what turns you on. But once you start looking into the subject, you’ll find out there’s actually a whole community that’s very open about such issues.
Whatever you do in your bedroom shouldn’t bother other people, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and you’re not causing any physical or psychological harm to one another. There are those who try to add some sort of ideology to sex, and it’s absolutely fine – if it’s something you want to live by. But there’s no reason why anyone should force their personal views on you. You’re entitled to your own opinions and your own decisions, so don’t let others take this freedom away from you.
If you’re battling shame and guilt for a prolonged period of time, it can not only influence your mood but even lead to serious mental health issues. That’s why it’s important to accept yourself for who you are. It doesn’t mean you have to let everyone around know what you’re into. You can be more comfortable keeping such things in private. But even just admitting to yourself that it’s absolutely fine and there’s nothing wrong with you can make you feel free and happy.
Fetishes are not something you should be ashamed of. Quite the opposite, if you find a partner willing to take part in your fantasies, your relationship can actually become much better. Treat it like something fun and interesting, instead of hiding it away and pretending it doesn’t exist. The most important thing is for you to feel good in your own skin and be true to yourself.